i should not come home so early..

i realise no one really knows me...people rmb my terrible laughter. thought i have no tears, no unhappiness.

my family think so too.
i am alone..with god, looking at me above.

no one to turn too.
even when i cry, i have to cry silently in my room without making my family knows that im crying.

when thay lose temper, they have no wrong.
but when i lose my temper, they go crazy by blaming.
is this my life?

born stupid, useless...a rubbish.

i wanna live on my own, if i can.

sometimes, i wish to give up everything.

even when, my mother came in the room.
she looked at me as if it's totally my fault.
so i guess, it's my fault.
everything happens in the house is my fault.
never my sis, never the adults.
just me..

not to blame me for not cherishing my life.
now, i wish to die...