i think some of my classmates realise that im was moody in the morning. yups~ indeed i was.

i was fretting on some things which i do not know what should i do. wasnt really focusing today. poa was worst. i was cold towards chaywei... she talked to me and i answered back with either a smile or just a word. back to class after poa, did joke abit but back to moody state again. did not go for recess because it will be weird and hurts. guess this is why liping doesnt want to go too. ive been use to this matter already. hah! whenever i brought up this issue on my blog, they show no response. now, i bring it up again. guess, it will still be the same cos things have changed. in their eyes, im no longer belong to them. im just a leech trying to stick to them. wanna join recess with my classmates actually. they asked but i rejected. i rejected becos i do not want any necessary misunderstandings saying im neglecting my old friends. to 3rd parties, if u see this going on, get the facts right b4 u judge. if i were to neglect my best friends, i would have done it long ago. why do i have to wait till now. frankly speaking, start of the year, there are some outing that my classmates asked me out. however, i rejected becos i dont wanna join a group that i had never join before. i just want to stick with my old friends.

as time goes by, frequent thoughts had change my views of many things in life. i feel happier with my classmates lately. whereas, when im with my old friends, im like trying to 哄他们. i dislike this. why do i have to do this? this week, they are back in school. some fo them said they missed me. i know some are sincere about that. when i questioned, i know whether i still have status in them. i know liping still think of me. and now just the 2 of us. the other 4, i think they have forgotten about me. my worries now are for liping. cos she is alone. she had many thoughts like me, but no one to turn too. and i am not with her most of the time, so it's difficult for her to look for me. i feel that im a fool. why should be so nosey to keep asking them, are they okay? hahs! but im use to it. one or two months to go, and that's the end of my relationship with them, i guess. so if u happen to see me with different people, it's not really all my fault. cos it's useless being with them now. u can say all nasty things about my decision and myself. im use to all kinds of comments already. ever since i grow and now a 17 yr old teenager, i have received lots of diff comments about me. and im not gonna care about them...:D

im sorry to u guys. hate, blame or be angry with me.

to people who read this, it's not gonna affect my studies. cos i know what im doing. and im mugging really hard to get good grades and what i want.