hello dear~
good afternoon!

get to hear the chime just now. i like to hear it every month, dont know why either. hehs~im a weird person.
dont get misunderstand by my title. it's not the toy that we play. it's a deeper meaning to it.

this is my blog right? so i can voice out my comments. well, dont worry~ it's not some attacks to people. it is purely my thoughts for life. hahahas~ i dont want any trouble too. =D
so i shall start now.

sometimes, i asked myself. why should i show care to people. why cant i be frank? why should i care if i hurt anyone's heart? why? why should i be so KPO to ask people why they are so sad? thoughts flash through my mind many times... telling me, "ask yourself, when your heart is feeling terrible, did anyone ask Are You Alright? the answer is NO. no one ask. why must you act as if u are a clown and cheer someone up when u actually feels terribly uncomfortable in ur heart?" ya~ these questions are being asked. i did tried to answer. recently, i wrote an essay which was not specify clearly and not very well done. people may think im KPO for caring, for acting like a clown. but after that, i see them smiling. that's what i want, isnt it?
you may say not to trust people easily. yups! it's correct. 人心难测~

to my friends, if you keep thinking why are you being treated unfairly.. ask yourself, have you been treating people around you the same? to my GFs, some of u kept saying u are being left out. have you? i feel my speech could be record and played it whenever one of u says that. i didnt express many of my unhappiness to anyone of u. if any, are those minor ones. i believe i should endure everyone and accept everybody's character. but i feel that sometimes im like a toy. ya.. a toy~ when u want to play with it, u treasure it. when u are tired with it, u placed it at a corner without taking a look at it. some of u said u are feeling terrible. shouldnt i be the one feeling like that? please think~ why must you always say u are the pathetic one. by right, i should be the one saying all this. but i didnt!! never once i ever say that im being left out. although sometimes i feel that. sometimes, i hope this year could quickly pass so that i can finally get out of all this. left out left out~ people changed people changed~ but sometimes, i cant bear to be separate with you guys cos i dont want to be alone. cant you all see all this???

im not a toy. im not a clown~