hellos~

i feel moody today. results are disappointing. i didnt do well...so i shall not elaborate much. just wonder can i promote? will i? can i? i feel so demoralising now. today in class, i was acting strong throughout math lesson until when mrs thang said something. i broke down~ i cried becos of the stress. the stress im facing is really huge. i am so lousy with my studies and classmates are doing fine..i wanna catch up with all of them. i set very high standards for myself but.... i dont know. am i stressing myself too much that's why im liddat. im sorry to chaywei if i shocked you just now. i cry too sudden yet i pick myself up fast. i dont want more people to see me dropping tears cos im older than them. i need to be strong... well, i dont know for the next 3 papers, will i even pass. sometimes, i really think i should quit studying cos throughout these 17 years, i didnt score well. i thought to myself 'what's the point of studying when i cant even get good grades?'. this moment, i really hate studying. hate hate!!! cos i cant score well!! really hate!!!! hate myself too... fcuk! im sorry for using such languages but i am really piss with myself. rahhhhh~ damn it!! can i have better brain??? just let me score and do well in my studiess for about 4 more years and i stop touching books!! please~ if not, kill me now!

end!

*sigh*
crying...